So the word on the street is that if you don't want to be bitten by a shark you probably shouldn't....
Wait for it....
...taunt the shark.
I thought taunting a shark would really endear me to it.
In Epcot at the Living Seas exhibit they have a big section on sharks complete with tips on how to avoid getting bitten.
Most of the tips make perfect sense.
But some of them are troublesome.
"Do not bother a shark!"
This confuses me.
I'm not really sure how you would even go about 'bothering' a shark.
I mean, in my mind, as soon as a shark gets close enough to see you it immediately gobbles you up.
And then there is this one:
"Don't wear shiny jewelry."
I so love to wear all my shiniest jewelry to the beach.
"Do NOT wear bright colored clothing."
Now I'm not even allowed to wear certain colors?!
Have the oceans turned into some sort of Gangland?
I'm envisioning sharks in bandannas with homemade tattoos.
You should probably imagine that too.
And then we come to this one:
"DO NOT swim around with an uneven tan."
Now I have to worry about how well my tan has blended?
What the what?
This is all getting too complicated.
I think all stick to the beach.