No blogs...

Nothing witty to blog about.

No power to blog with.

God bless those affected by the tornados.

Not a lot of stinkin' trouble...

So Tuesday nights we go to Bible Study.

Or we used to.

I mean, sometimes we go.

I mean, it used to be at our house and sometimes still is.

Sheesh...while all the questions?

Anyway...

I've blogged about Journey Group before.

Tonight we got together and assembled packages for Backpack Blessings.

It's a ministry of Mission Firefly. 

Mission Firefly does work in Guatemala. Installing water filters, buildings houses and the like.

Backpack Blessings provides paper bags filled with food to send home with under privileged kids on Fridays.

So, its a good cause and all that.

Due to an unforeseen trip to the dentist for one of my kids I didn't get to go buy all they stuff while the kids were at school.

Buying enough food for 30 kids for two days with 3 kids in tow was a bit of a...

challenge.

But in the end:

We stuffed the car full and made it home. 

Cranky babies and all. 

Then we began the unloading:

Hold it from the bottom minion.

I was all proud of the kids for doing such a good job helping. 

I really thought:

"Oh, they are getting it! How kind they are becoming!"

It was at this point that the middle child said:

"Helping people is a lot of stinkin' trouble!"

'A lot of stinkin' trouble.'

Nice.

And I don't mean he said it in a sweet way. 

It was more of a disgruntled 'when can I go watch Spongebob' way.

But he carried on and finally announced:

"Whew! We deserve a Dr Pepper!"

So we got everything lined up:

Ha, Ha. 

There is my foot.

I've blogged about my feet.

And once everyone got there we got to assembling:

"Yeah! Assembling is fun!"

The second I snapped the picture Billy leaned back - hence the big ole back in the picture.

How about the "North Avenue Trade School" tee?

Georgia Tech peeps should appreciate it. 

Pastor Johnny getting in on the action.

Juggling in the background.

Oranges always make people want to juggle.

There was lots of juggling going on tonight.

In the end - success.

After everyone left came the 'After Journey Group' routine.

1) Get the kids in bed which means reading to them.

Here is the inscription on the latest library book the kids love:

So...thanks Johnsons for donating that book. 

Whoever they are they probably didn't think donating that book was a big deal. 

If they knew how great the kids thought it was they would realize it is a big deal. 

I mean, a big deal to us. 

2) Then you have to blow the candles out:

And then you can do what all people do after every gathering at their house.

3) Unhide the romance novels:

What?

Everyone doesn't do that?

So!

 I'm going against the flow!

Are you trying to peer pressure me into giving up romance novels?

Well I guess if everyone jumped off a bridge you'd think I should too?!

Hmmm...

Only, if I packed a Backpack Blessing bag first.

Instagram, I think I love you...

So I'm a little late to the Twitter party. 

Better late than never and all that stuff. 

One reason I like Twitter is Instagram. 

 Instagram is an app that lets you take photos and then immediately upload them to Twitter. 

The best part is it's really user friendly. 

The other best part is you can do all kinds of cool things instantly to your photos. 

So they make your photos look cool.

Even if what you are photographing isn't that cool. 

For instance:

Homework looks kinda retro cool when you put it in the "70's" filter. 

The 70's filter works well for this boy.

He has wanted tube socks for years. 

They are surprisingly hard to find. 

When I asked him why he wanted tube socks his answer was "to be like SpongeBob."

Oh well, every kid needs a dream right. 

You know what Instagram can't do?

Really make what you did cool.

For instance:

Even in this filter...its still my keys buried deep in the trash. 

Yep, in the trash at Chick-fil-a in the outdoor play area.

Go me. 

I'd like to blame throwing the keys in the trash on a child but it was all me.

After I got done digging one of the other women there said:

"Well, at least Chick-fil-a trash is fancier than McDonalds trash."

Hmmm.

Who knew?

For another story about Chick-fil-a click here. 

The Sinister Side of Easter...

The sinister side of Easter as a blog title?

What could possibly be sinister about Easter?

This guy knows what it is.

His expression clearly says he has seen the dark side of Easter...

Oh, yeah.

Dark things.

So what is the sinister side?

How quickly this:

Becomes this:

No. 

Nautical looking shells on top of a mountain we find while egg hunting?

No. 

The fact that gas prices are so high we are thinking about borrowing this from the baby?

No. 

Is it this:

Or this:

No. 

Hmmm...

What is so sinister about Easter?

THIS:

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

The Bad News Bears...

Yeah!

Look what it's time for:

Now, usually I make a huge deal out of Easter egg dyeing. 

But this year, for some reason, the boys weren't in to it. 

I say 'for some reason' like I don't know why but I totally do. 

See...Beyblades have taken over our house. 

I'm not sure how we had avoided them until now but we had. 

They each have only one but they have been playing with them pretty much non stop for a week. 

If I hear "let it rip" one more time...

So I decided I would just dye the eggs myself this year. 

I was kind of pumped about getting to do it all by myself actually.

So, I've blogged before about how I'm kind of the Bad News Bears (Bear?) of cake decorating.

Well, I didn't expect that to intrude into egg decorating. 

You know when you see something and you think:

 Hmmm. 

That was either the absolute best or the absolute worst thing I've ever seen in my life.

Kinda like when I saw Pulp Fiction. 

15 years later I'm still thinking about that movie. 

Well, my eggs were like that.

This is what a dyed egg is supposed to look like:

These are the atrocities...

Masterpieces?

Atrocities I created:

Snakeskin?

Creepy.

Cracked and peeling. 

Like a yellow sunburn.

I tried to use stars to make patterns. 

Maybe I'm a little too "measure once and cut twice" for this.

Grrr...I'm a scary green egg!

Fear me!

What the heck kind of color is this?

The whole thing just went awry. 

Who wants to hunt grey eggs?

Half way through dyeing I was expecting dragons to start hatching.

 A la Eragon 

or 

George Martin. 

Alas, it didn't happen. 

Because, at this point, that's pretty much the only thing that would save these eggs.

Way to go, Nature...

So...

I'm kind of into nature. 

I like being outdoors and camping and hiking and the like. 

What I don't like is when nature turns against me. 

When it turns against me with no provocation whatsoever!

Lets call it "When Nature Attacks."

For example: Today I was happily taking a walk with the toddler when this happens:

I step in a giant fire ant hill. 

Unfortunately, I don't notice I've stepped in it until I start feeling...

a little...

a little more...

a lot...

SOMETHING PAINFUL.

I look down and of course there are fire ants all over me. 

The bad thing was is I was talking to someone on the phone at the time and they were telling me a serious story so I had to act like nothing was wrong. 

SO, you can go on and imagine tears streaming down my face as I hop around with the phone to my ear while I try to speak sympathetically to the person on the other end of the phone. 

It was quite a feat actually. 

Go me. 

So because I like nature I did Outward Bound in college:

That's me and my gear hiking all over Montana looking out for bears. 

I was also a counselor at a Pine Hill for a couple years. 

Now it's called Pine Ridge.

I had a "When Nature Attacks" episode with this group one year. 

We were happily canoeing down a river when...

A SNAKE FELL INTO THE CANOE IN FRONT OF ME.

The canoe had two boys in it at the time. 

Somehow they didn't see the snake fall in. 

The last thing I wanted was for them to start swinging paddles at the snake so I just said:

"Boys! Jump in the water right now!"

At first they said "Why?" but then I think the force of my voice made them jump in. 

Once they swam over to my canoe I said "Well, there is a snake in your canoe."

It was like something you see in the movies - kids screaming, chaos, etc...

Thank goodness the uber masculine canoe counselor rounded the bend about that time. 

He was able to relocate the snake with no problem. 

I loved this group. 

Snakes and all. 

We're not scared of snakes!

We just don't want them in our boat. 

Later in the summer we came upon two snakes...mating. 

It was enlightening. 

And it looked painful. 

I loved summer camp so much that we are going to Family Camp in July. 

It's going to be blogworthy I'm sure.

Seven days with no Melanzanella and not iPhone. 

I'm scared.

You know what wasn't a "When a Nature Attacks" episode?

This dog in Indian creek:

A very sad story...

A very sad blog from the baby...

Sometimes life can be going so well....

Mommy is letting you eat Lucky Charms and therefore everything is right with the world. 

But then...

Then she has the audacity to suggest you share with your brother...

No way is he getting my Lucky Charms!

It's not going to happen!

The mere suggestion that I would share...

Its offensive thats what it is!

Stay away from me brother!

Mine!

What do you mean I have a lucky charm on my chin?

Big Deal!

Who cares!

Maybe I meant to have it there.

Just don't get my cereal!

And for another blog about lucky charms you can click here.

Just admit it...

Ga-Ga-Ga-Ga-Glamour shots!

Oh, just admit it. 

You had Glamour Shots done too. 

Remember?

They had the little store set up in the mall where you would go and 'get glamoured up.'

I believe it was immortalized in the movie "Napoleon Dynamite."

Whitch, by the way, was not a funny movie.

Even though yes, Tina Majorino is awesome.

So...glamour shots!

Jean jacket wearers of the world unite!

Seriously, what are my hands doing in this picture?

What, if I don't hold them there the jacket floats away due to its sheer awesomeness?

Caution: Due to high volume of hair spray hair will explode into flames if exposed to high temperatures.

"Hi. I enjoy dressing like a banana."

Wow!

Those earrings they put on me were 'bedazzlerific!'

And that shirt was very yellow. 

Really, though the eighties fashions weren't always kind to me. 

And maybe by 1991 I deserved a glamour shot.

Yes, me and eighties fashions...

We didn't always mix well.

For example:

I think I had been watching way too much Cosby show here because that's a lot of sweater. 

And a lot of jean skirt.

And a lot of crimped hair.

And those sunglasses?

They said "Coca-Cola" on them.

I wore them out that summer!

Until they ultimately took a sad trip to a watery grave in the lake. 

My parents had bought them in Tokyo.

Apparently, Tokyo was going through a Coke phase.

Next:

I don't know.

I really don't.

I mean, yes, I'm wearing my cousin Mary Etta's add a bead necklace she let me borrow for the picture.

And I'm wearing a tie.

A tie!

Next:

Heck, yeah I went to Panama City and got an airbrushed tee!

And Robbie was wearing Jams.

I mean...

So really, considering the alternatives....

There was nothing wrong with the Glamour Shots.